Thank you everyone for your kind words.
I tried typing this once already but kept putting too much information. While I'm sure some of you are curious, the majority of it just isn't something you post in a public forum for all to read.
I left my moms place last October. Things had gotten so bad I didn't even have a place to live when I moved out. She was more mad than surprised when I told her I was leaving. She even tried to "kick me out" but EVERYTHING I planned on taking was already out of the house; moved over to friends garages. The stuff I couldn't carry away was either thrown away or sold by my mother. LG's tank, as well as a 50+ year old dresser of my deceased father's were among the trashed items.
I had been looking for an apartment or room since before I moved out but everything was around 700-1000 dollars a month, not including utilities. I had no choice but to buy a tent and a sleeping bag, start camping in the hills. Was able to keep my job. My manager knew I was homeless and was willing to let me bring all my camping stuff to the back of the store for my shift. Then after I clocked out I would ride my bike across town with a 40 pound backpack and a 50 pound duffle bag over my shoulders, and the rest of my gear hanging from both handlebars. Camping is illegal so to get to my site I hiked about 1.5 miles up into the hills. I figured I was more likely to get harassed down at street level so I hiked quite a ways every night just for the solitude.
Once at my campsite I would prepare my tent. Again camping is illegal, so I would set up my tent in the moonlight. Flashlight would attract attention from helicopters so for the most part no lights once inside the tent either. The first week I couldn't afford an air mattress. I just laid on the ground with a pillow and sleeping bag. I'd wake up in the middle of the night freezing(it was November) with a wet pillow. My body heat caused condensation to form in large amounts on the walls of the tent, and if your pillow hits the wall then all that moisture goes right into it. I learned to wrap my pillow in a trash bag before putting a pillow case on but even so, I had to throw my pillow away every time it would grow mildew.
Wasn't so bad once I got a twin sized air bed. 15 bucks at Walmart, it barely fit in my two person tent: I had to get in the tent with it, blow it up(without a pump) until it filled the inside of the tent and then climb out from underneath the mattress. Even though I had a "2 person" tent and the mattress was only a twin, I had to jam the bed in the tent diagonally, to keep my head and feet from hitting the walls and getting soaked. It was ironic to wake up soaking wet but have no water to drink. I never seemed to be able to bring enough water up. It's heavy and takes so much space, I would usually bring 32oz and not much more.
It was cold and wet, but I wasn't going to light a fire. Too much risk of starting a wildfire, let alone being arrested for being homeless. I basically went up there just to make camp and sleep. People hike up there all the time so I didn't hang around much past sunrise. I usually got about 5-6 hours of sleep and didn't wake up feeling rested.
I would come down to town to get clean clothes from my sisters, do laundry and take a shower. Occasionally I would sneak into my moms house while she was at work, so I could spend time with my dog, Georgia. She was really sad and confused that I left. It was probably like when a kids parents divorce and stop talking to each other. I didn't know how long I would be living like that but I didn't have any other options. After being out of my moms house for only a month she sold the place and moved out. Threw all my stuff out in the street without me knowing and moved up to my grandpas. It's like she had been waiting for the right moment to abandon ship...
My health suffered. Got pneumonia and bronchitis. Both knees were blown out from hiking a mile uphill every night pushing a bike with 100 pounds of gear on my back. I wasn't able to make it out to L.A. County hospital to refill my seizure meds anymore so I started breaking pills and half and cutting my dosage. That caused me to have more auras and petite mal seizures.
Of course things weren't all bad up there. I got to go on a lot more night hikes than I would have and the view of downtown LA of in the distance was always nice. When it rained the wilderness smelled wonderful. They make artificial fragrances that try to recreate the smell, but you really have to be immersed in it all to really get the effect. One night I hiked up in the rain. You could see from street level that the top of the hill where I was camping was enveloped in fog. As I hiked up the hill I crossed into the mist. It was very cool and damp feeling, like a billion mini rain drops just hanging in the air. I turned on a flashlight to see better but the light could only make it about 20 feet before fading into the fog. I got the idea to do shadow puppets with my hand, it was pretty fun.
Things were still very stressful though. I didn't know how long it would take before I just quit my job and gave up on life. I still did my grandpa's yard work every Monday, only now my mom was living up there. I still got to see my dog which was nice, but then my mom was always trying to talk to me. I bought a pair of sunglasses and some cheap headphones so I could properly ignore her.
It was toward the end of December now and my depression was worsening. I had pretty much resigned myself to the idea of being homeless. No friends or family to help and no end in sight. It was one of my co-workers who offered me a room. One of his house-mates had vacated and there was a spot available. They knew about my situation and agreed to less rent if I helped out around the house. We agreed on 400+utilities, no security deposit, no first and last month's rent.
I'm still sleeping on the same air bed as when I was in the hills; I've gotten used to it for the most part. My room is pretty bare. What little belongings I have left are spread between 3 or 4 people's houses. One of them is a friend of a friend who later had a falling out. I don't know them personally so getting my stuff back has been tricky. I honestly don't even remember most of my belongings my memory is so bad. I guess that is a good thing, not to remember everything you've lost.
I'm still no longer talking to my mother, but I do yard work for my grandpa every Monday and still get to see my dog. Sadly, it has come to my attention that my dog while exploring her new home, found her way into the elderly neighbor's back yard... The coward actually went into his house and grabbed pepper-spray instead of a phone. My dogs eyes were swollen for almost a week and now a dog that never feared anyone has a reason to be defensive. Oh, didn't I mention? She has to wear a shock collar now... I wanted to buy a can of pepper-spray, knock on that guys door and spray him point blank in the face until he could no longer breathe. Instead I just have one more hateful person in my life that I have to do my best to ignore. Life is full of people who simply don't deserve it. All I can do is try to be the best person I can be. Instead of wasting my energy on hating somebody or trying to change them, I just take myself out of their life.
No reptile companions right now, except all the LG's running around in the back yard. I planted a little vegi garden which attracts bugs which attracts lizards! I do have a goldfish I saved from my moms house. I had moved it to my sisters while I was homeless but now that I have a place he's living in the garage. It's not a pet I bought with the intention of keeping; He was a feeder fish for a turtle I rescued a while back. Now he just kicks back living the easy life.
Well now you're all pretty much up to date. I did my best to filter out all the unnecessarily negative stuff, I think I did pretty good. I would love to have a BD again some day, just in a more permanent environment.
Thanks again everyone for being here for LG's and my journey. It's nice to know there are people out there who care. :wink:
