Aw, he was such a cutie and it's obvious by the nice big tank and decorations you got him that you cared very much. You're certainly not a garbage person, it's like Karrie said that he might have had the virus. It's so very sad for you but don't be angry at yourself, even though it's a human reaction to blame ourselves. You tried to do everything for him, that is love and no way were you negligent.