Oliver: This is unbelievable. How could possibly do this! Collard Greens? There is a fresh supply of Symtom BSFL (My hooman highly recommends them.) setting right there and I get Collard Greens! 80% greens! Who comes up with this stuff! Oh! Oh, he left my cage open. Yes, he thinks I'm going to run around and have fun like I always do, but NOT TO DAY! NO! A dragon must know when he is no longer loved and being cared for properly! All that talk about me getting so big that I would have to eat cows! Talking about getting Dragons Wings and Breathing Fire. How am I supposed to do any of that without a large helping of Bugs! (Jumps out of cage) Ha! The escape has been made. Now, lets see here... I can't hide from his behind the fish tank. I tried that. It was very dust back there. Didn't like it. And that devilishly clever fellow has found all of my good hiding spots. No! I must be clever. I must not make a sound. (Human hears dragon scurry across hardwood floor.) Now where do I... oh look at all the beautiful sunlight! No! I must not be distracted. Now, yes, down the long dark hallway. I will go into that spare room! He will never find me there! 5 hours later...
Me: "Oliver! Oliver come one buddy where are you?" With my flashlight in hand I began checking all the normal hiding spots. The potted plants next to the window, His Castle, hanging on the curtains that cubby holes in the dining room, but to no avail. I checked the lady of the houses closet. He was found there in one of her bras once. Then, he was also found in the bathtub in the master bathroom and hiding behind the toilet. Scared the hell out of a guest. But no. He wasn't anywhere to be found. I wasn't really panicking. He's now a full grown bearded dragon and more than capable of surviving for several days on his own in the house. But, I had to find him. I walked in to the spare bedroom and turned on my flashlight. Looking under the dresser and I found him. Sleeping peacefully in a decorative glass bowl. His tail sticking straight up in the air, his head sticking out, and his belly filling the bottom of the bowl. He opened his eyes.
Me: Hi Buddy.
Oliver: Hi.
Me: Are you okay?
Oliver: I was gonna run away. But then I got cold so I crawled in here because the sun was shinning, but I didn't get warm again cause the sun went away.
Me: I keep telling you that you can't make it on your own without me. Not just yet.
Oliver: I know.
Me: Do you wanna snuggle in my hoodie and get warm before you go night night?
Oliver: Yeah. I'm cold Hooman.
Me: Come here buddy.
Oliver: (inside the hoodie) I'm gonna grip really tight okay.
Me: OUCH! My Nipple!
Me: "Oliver! Oliver come one buddy where are you?" With my flashlight in hand I began checking all the normal hiding spots. The potted plants next to the window, His Castle, hanging on the curtains that cubby holes in the dining room, but to no avail. I checked the lady of the houses closet. He was found there in one of her bras once. Then, he was also found in the bathtub in the master bathroom and hiding behind the toilet. Scared the hell out of a guest. But no. He wasn't anywhere to be found. I wasn't really panicking. He's now a full grown bearded dragon and more than capable of surviving for several days on his own in the house. But, I had to find him. I walked in to the spare bedroom and turned on my flashlight. Looking under the dresser and I found him. Sleeping peacefully in a decorative glass bowl. His tail sticking straight up in the air, his head sticking out, and his belly filling the bottom of the bowl. He opened his eyes.
Me: Hi Buddy.
Oliver: Hi.
Me: Are you okay?
Oliver: I was gonna run away. But then I got cold so I crawled in here because the sun was shinning, but I didn't get warm again cause the sun went away.
Me: I keep telling you that you can't make it on your own without me. Not just yet.
Oliver: I know.
Me: Do you wanna snuggle in my hoodie and get warm before you go night night?
Oliver: Yeah. I'm cold Hooman.
Me: Come here buddy.
Oliver: (inside the hoodie) I'm gonna grip really tight okay.
Me: OUCH! My Nipple!
