I am a bad owner and I don’t know what to do. Help.

[nightmareonelmstreet]

I got a bearded dragon in July of this year. I was so excited because I have always wanted one. I got her and named her Krueger (a name I had picked out for years). It started off great. She got daily holding, feedings, water and food changes, etc. The new semester began and I won’t lie, I got extremely depressed. I could barely take care of myself and I couldn’t take care of Krueger either. My roommate got a cat, so I have to keep my bedroom door closed. I am scared that the cat will spook Krueger so I keep my door shut, which causes me to not be in my room as frequently as I used to be. I have gone weeks at a time without feeding her and I just feel like an absolute monster. Of course I do not purposefully do this, I love her so much, but as my mental state has declined, I forget to take care of other important things. My mental health is getting better slowly, and I bought Krueger some live crickets the other day and she really loved them. What do I need to do to get her healthy again and how do I restore the relationship we once had? I’ve looked into rehoming her, but I end up sobbing every time I do. What do I do?

 

[LarryTheLizard]

im sorry to hear that, and I hope you get better soon, I’ll keep you in my prayers.
i would get Krueger a variety of food, not just crickets. Personally I buy mealworms and my lizards love them. I would ease into petting her and giving her treats every so often. all lizards are different, but my lizard loves being held and stroked on the back. These are just suggestions. A mistake I made when I first got my lizard was buying a bunch of live food and not knowing how to take care of them, so if you have lettuce or vegetables, you can feed the live food so that they don’t die before Krueger eats them.

i hope you have a great evening and keep your head up! Things will get better

 

[hdochow]

first of all, you are not a bad owner, you are an owner in need of help with multiple things. i am proud of you for even reaching out and asking. i know how hard that is from personal experience.

so i want to ask... do you want to keep your dragon or do you think rehoming is the best option? serious answer only with no judgement either way. you mentioned you thought about rehoming which is why i'm asking.

for school, you mentioned semesters. are you in high school or college? my daughter and i graduated from Eastern Oregon University in june of 2023. if you need any tips/advice/help on school topics unrelated to Krueger, just let me know. i am more than willing to help out where needed if i can.

outside of all of that, the best thing to do for Krueger is to make sure your husbandry is on point. lights and temperatures are the most critical thing for a healthy dragon. if you can post what you have as far as UVB lights, basking lights, temperatures and how you are getting them, and general information about your set up, we can help you adjust anything that needs it. photos of your set up are helpful too. @KarrieRee is the one you will want to work with as far as lights and temps. she is our resident guru on the topic, but really, there are a ton of people on here that can help you out.

we will want to address diet, vitamins/supplementation/ vet care at some point, but the above things are the place to start.

 

[nightmareonelmstreet]

first of all, you are not a bad owner, you are an owner in need of help with multiple things. i am proud of you for even reaching out and asking. i know how hard that is from personal experience.

so i want to ask... do you want to keep your dragon or do you think rehoming is the best option? serious answer only with no judgement either way. you mentioned you thought about rehoming which is why i'm asking.

for school, you mentioned semesters. are you in high school or college? my daughter and i graduated from Eastern Oregon University in june of 2023. if you need any tips/advice/help on school topics unrelated to Krueger, just let me know. i am more than willing to help out where needed if i can.

outside of all of that, the best thing to do for Krueger is to make sure your husbandry is on point. lights and temperatures are the most critical thing for a healthy dragon. if you can post what you have as far as UVB lights, basking lights, temperatures and how you are getting them, and general information about your set up, we can help you adjust anything that needs it. photos of your set up are helpful too. @KarrieRee is the one you will want to work with as far as lights and temps. she is our resident guru on the topic, but really, there are a ton of people on here that can help you out.

we will want to address diet, vitamins/supplementation/ vet care at some point, but the above things are the place to start.

I do have correct lighting and habitat conditions for her. She has never shown any signs of distress that I have seen. I love my dragon and I want to keep her, I am just worried that I am not fit. I am in college (pre-nursing school) and I work a part time job so I am very busy. I can upload a picture of her habitat later on today if that would be helpful.

 

[KarrieRee]

I do have correct lighting and habitat conditions for her. She has never shown any signs of distress that I have seen. I love my dragon and I want to keep her, I am just worried that I am not fit. I am in college (pre-nursing school) and I work a part time job so I am very busy. I can upload a picture of her habitat later on today if that would be helpful.

Yes please post pic of her and her tank --- she needs fresh salads every day and insects 2-3 times per week - you said you went weeks w/ out feeding her? We need to see what kind of condition she in now so we can better help here

 

[Drache613]

Hello,

Definitely, if you can post some pictures of your girl
along with her tank setup, just so we can see the entire environment for her.
We can review the feeding & supplementation for her, too.
We will help out as much as we can. I hope you are doing better. Has she lost weight that you can tell?

Tracie

 

[nightmareonelmstreet]

Hello,

Definitely, if you can post some pictures of your girl
along with her tank setup, just so we can see the entire environment for her.
We can review the feeding & supplementation for her, too.
We will help out as much as we can. I hope you are doing better. Has she lost weight that you can tell?

Tracie

I haven’t noticed any bad weight loss. She looks like she always has. I’m just so busy with work and school all of the time and i’m trying my best. I will upload habitat pictures tonight, but I am going to the store right now to get more foods for her!

 

[LarryTheLizard]

I haven’t noticed any bad weight loss. She looks like she always has. I’m just so busy with work and school all of the time and i’m trying my best. I will upload habitat pictures tonight, but I am going to the store right now to get more foods for her!

I wish you well!

 

[Drache613]

Hello,

Definitely let us know how things are going. When you can post pictures of everything so we can see how it is all arranged.
What foods were you able to get her?

Tracie

 

[nightmareonelmstreet]

Hello,

Definitely, if you can post some pictures of your girl
along with her tank setup, just so we can see the entire environment for her.
We can review the feeding & supplementation for her, too.
We will help out as much as we can. I hope you are doing better. Has she lost weight that you can tell?

Tracie

I hope this picture is alright

 

[Drache613]

Hello,

Thanks for the picture of the tank setup. It's hard to tell, but is
there a long tube bulb, or do you have a Mercury Vapor bulb,
etc?

Tracie

 

[nightmareonelmstreet]

Hello,

Thanks for the picture of the tank setup. It's hard to tell, but is
there a long tube bulb, or do you have a Mercury Vapor bulb,
etc?

Tracie

I have

Hello,

Thanks for the picture of the tank setup. It's hard to tell, but is
there a long tube bulb, or do you have a Mercury Vapor bulb,
etc?

Tracie

i have a mercury vapor bulb

 

[Drache613]

Hello,

Thanks, do you happen to know what brand & wattage your Mercury Vapor bulb is?
Your girl looks happy basking there. What is the distance from her?

Tracie

 

[nightmareonelmstreet]

Hello,

Thanks, do you happen to know what brand & wattage your Mercury Vapor bulb is?
Your girl looks happy basking there. What is the distance from her?

Tracie

I apologize deeply, but It is not a Mercury Vapor bulb. The brand is Thrive and it is the 100W Essential Basking Spot Bulb.

She loves to bask and always seems happy on her wood piece. She is always alert when I walk into my room and will look at me. Occasionally she will glass surf, but not very often. I take that as a sign to give more food/change water/give her a spritz of water. She seems happy after I do that.

The one and only time she has ever shown me her black beard in displeasure or agitation was when I accidentally bought her a 150W bulb instead of a 100W because someone put the bulbs in the wrong place at the store She let me know very quickly that she was hot and uncomfortable! I changed her bulb to the correct one and she was perfectly happy again.

 

[IAmAMirage]

First off, I wanted to congratulate you on reaching out. Mental health can be a struggle. I know from experience. You are not a bad owner. You've done the right thing by reaching out.
Second, if you need someone to talk to please feel free to dm me.