A Long Overdue Goodbye - Remembering Pancake (RIP December 2019)

After being away from this website for essentially 4 years, I feel ready to be able to come back and finally, at last, post my goodbye to my sweet bearded dragon, Pancake. I want to once again thank any of the users who helped support me during Pancake's unfortunate health issues. I couldn't bring myself to post a memorial after losing him, but I finally feel ready to let these feelings out.

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My dearest Pancake,

I will never forget how randomly we found each other. Never beyond my wildest dreams did I think one day I'd go to work to find a bearded dragon in a tupperware container. I had never had a reptile before you, I never knew if I'd even own a reptile before you. You were so skinny and in desperate need of help, there was no way I wasn't going to bring you home with me at the end of the shift. You were so unexpected that I didn't have any bugs to feed you, so I googled safe foods for you that I did have in the meantime. We spooked each other a little when I tried to handfeed you a piece of apple- but it worked and you accepted the snack.

You were, and still are, one of the biggest blessings to have ever entered my life. Nothing made me as happy as spoiling you and seeing you become more healthy and explore the house and front yard. You had absolutely everything- I would walk into other pet stores and I couldn't buy you any new decor because you already had everything. You were worth every penny I spent, from buying you a new terrarium, all the decor and enrichment possible, to your food and in the end the literal thousands I spent on your vet bills. I wish things turned out differently and that you were still here. You were such a precious soul. But honestly, even knowing that we would have to say goodbye after a short time, I would still do it all over again if I could. I am thankful for the time we had together, and I am grateful I was able to pack so many positive experiences in for you to hopefully make up for the background you came from.

I couldn't look at your terrarium for over a year. I had to take mental breaks when I could eventually bring myself to clean it and put your belongings away. My friend bought me a custom keychain with you on it. I had a breakdown during class when I saw it. I had a dream that I was looking outside, holding you wrapped up in the blanket I buried you in- when you suddenly climbed out of it and starting blepping my cheek, and it was if you were trying to tell me that you were okay now from wherever you are now. Pancake you mean so much to me I don't have the words to describe it.

You meant enough that I swore IF I happened to own another reptile at any point, they would have to be one who needed a home, just like you did. I wanted to be able to give another reptile the same amount of love and dedication that I showed you, because you deserved it so much. Strangely enough, last year while I was at work (for context for anyone reading this, I worked at a pet store until the end of this year), a man came in and bought some crickets. I was cleaning the dog wash, so my coworker talked to him. After he left, she told me he had a leopard gecko he didn't want anymore because he felt she was being neglected, but my coworker told him she didn't know anyone who could take the gecko, and gave him the store's number and said for him to call back another time. I panicked, and thought what if this is the reptile who needs help, I hadn't come across a single reptile for rehoming since I lost you. I told my coworker that if he calls back and she answers the phone, please give him my number. Months went by and I thought it wasn't meant to be, that maybe another coincidence like how you and I met wouldn't happen. But, my phone eventually rang and it was the man on the other end. He said he couldn't find anywhere that would take this gecko and if I didn't take her that day he would drop her off somewhere random. I took her without question. I named her Twiggy. She is the same colour that you turned when you were happy, that adorable sunny yellow. She has no spots, she could be your mini-me. Your favourite climbing log? She also thinks is the best thing ever. She's a very healthy, chunky lizard and if you somehow had any part in getting her to me, thank you.

Thank you for all the wonderful laughs, memories, and lessons you have given me Pancake. You are one in a zillion. Rest in peace
20?? - 2019 ❤️
 

xp29

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Zen , Ruby ,Snicker Doodles, Sweet Pea, Sinatra
Wow that is the sweetest story
 

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