How do i convince my mom to let me get a beardie?

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Re: How do i convince my mom to let me get a beardie?

Postby abbytimler » Sat Apr 13, 2019 8:28 pm

kingofnobbys wrote:Having cats in the house are a huge danger to any lizard.

You are a teenage girl ( IMO a big negative is you are a teenager ) , you will find the novelty of having to care for your pet dragon will soon ware off and will likely cramp your style socially , especially when you start wanting to date and go to parties , having a pet lizard is very time consuming and the lizard relies on you for everything it needs to even live , let alone be happy , you can't guarantee you'll be very diligent keeper for the dragon's life and give it the attention and care it needs (for up to 20 years) and it's clear mum is not interested in taking over when you loose interest in it ==> it will become neglected and miserable.

I'd say no too.


kingofnobbys-

i respect your opinion a ton! i agree with the cat thing. it can be dangerous, but im very careful about things and i would try my hardest not to let the dragon be hurt.

thank you so much for your time and opinion!

-abby
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Re: How do i convince my mom to let me get a beardie?

Postby abbytimler » Sat Apr 13, 2019 8:48 pm

claudiusx wrote:I'll throw my 2 cents in.

I got into beardies at a very young age. I must have been around 12 or so. Possibly younger. Just from reading your responses, I can tell you are much more mature than I was at that age. I've been around beaardies for a long time now, but nothing matches the joy I had when I was a kid and brand new to them. I was so excited, so inthrilled, so consumed by beardies.... for a time. But, that is ok! I still love dragons, and i've learned and accomplished in this hobby more so than I could have ever imagined as a 12 year old.

My point is, I disagree with some of the reasoning you've gotten in this thread as to why you shouldn't get a dragon.

Time - Yes they can take up a lot of your time. So what, enjoy the time you do get with them. Get an adult if feeding schedules conflict. IMO even babies don't HAVE to be fed 3 times a day. Once before school and once when you get home will work very well.

Cats - I grew up at that time and I kid you not we must have had a dozen house cats. Yes, they add a level of caution to what you're doing, and danger, but it's not a death sentence by any means. And i'm sure there are hundreds of people on this board who also have cats..

Cost - I mowed lawns for 15$ a week, and that was enough to keep up for me. My parents helped, but there are ways.

Responsibility - You have already shown your level of responsibility in the fact that you are asking questions and thinking this one out.

My point is, if this is something you want, you should go for it. Don't rob yourself of the potential joys that this hobby can offer just because you are told you can't offer a 100% perfect home in some ones eyes. ( this is not a dig at anyone who posted a reply to this thread :) )
You will do your research, you will buy the right items, and you will provide a loving home for a dragon.

-Brandon


claudiuxs-

thank you so much!!
ive read online that bearded dragons can recognize you after a while of owning them. i feel like thats be very cool because itll be like having a best friend (if you get what i mean).

i feel like time would only be a slight problem during sport season because i dont get home until late. But... my sister isnt in sports and could feed the dragon for me.

i definitely agree with the cats. i was planning on keeping the dragon in my room with the door shut at all times to keep it safe.

i feel like i could definitely pay for the dragon myself seeing how much i get paid and how many hours i work.

thank you for that! i try my best to be as responsible and mature as i can.

thank you so much for your response and your opinion! it is much appreciated!

-abby
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Re: How do i convince my mom to let me get a beardie?

Postby vrenee1018 » Sun Apr 14, 2019 8:18 am

Hello there! I think it's wonderful you want to get a beardie. They are very amazing creatures and once you get their setup perfect, they're fairly easy to take care of. They're also very independent creatures, so if you don't think you have enough time for them, I'm sure the time you do have is plenty enough. With that said, a 55 gallon tank was given to me as a birthday gift, and even with that already given to me, the cost of the beardie and all her things needed to properly setup her tank was close to $300 dollars. That included lights (both uvb and basking) , food, specially made bedding, food for the food, supplements for the beardie, some decorations (hammock and basking branch), and of course the queen herself! She was $69 or $79..I can't remember. But I suggest you buy things separately and not all at once, like I did, but that was my mistake. You can easily find a decent tank on Craigslist or of like, for $100 or so. Some pet stores even have sales on aquarium for $1 per gallon. You just gotta look in the right places. It seems like you're already fairly responsible and want to have a great little friend for yourself. I hope you're able!

Also, I just saw your question about automated timers and I ended up buying this for the tank... Best Choice Products® New Large... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07B8W2KHZ?re ... b_ap_share
It is an amazing product that you can control and set right from your phone. I use two of them. One for lights and one for a ceramic heat emitter at night. I love that I can control it from anywhere and that I don't have to fidget with setting up the manual timers anymore.
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Re: How do i convince my mom to let me get a beardie?

Postby abbytimler » Sun Apr 14, 2019 8:20 pm

vrenee1018 wrote:Hello there! I think it's wonderful you want to get a beardie. They are very amazing creatures and once you get their setup perfect, they're fairly easy to take care of. They're also very independent creatures, so if you don't think you have enough time for them, I'm sure the time you do have is plenty enough. With that said, a 55 gallon tank was given to me as a birthday gift, and even with that already given to me, the cost of the beardie and all her things needed to properly setup her tank was close to $300 dollars. That included lights (both uvb and basking) , food, specially made bedding, food for the food, supplements for the beardie, some decorations (hammock and basking branch), and of course the queen herself! She was $69 or $79..I can't remember. But I suggest you buy things separately and not all at once, like I did, but that was my mistake. You can easily find a decent tank on Craigslist or of like, for $100 or so. Some pet stores even have sales on aquarium for $1 per gallon. You just gotta look in the right places. It seems like you're already fairly responsible and want to have a great little friend for yourself. I hope you're able!

Also, I just saw your question about automated timers and I ended up buying this for the tank... Best Choice Products® New Large... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07B8W2KHZ?re ... b_ap_share
It is an amazing product that you can control and set right from your phone. I use two of them. One for lights and one for a ceramic heat emitter at night. I love that I can control it from anywhere and that I don't have to fidget with setting up the manual timers anymore.


vrenee1018-

time might be a slight issue during sports season but i believe i can make a way around that. i dont feel like cost would be a problem though. how much are baby beardies? i hope im able to too! also thank you so much for the automated timer link!

-abby
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Re: How do i convince my mom to let me get a beardie?

Postby Blackenedsabbath » Mon Apr 15, 2019 8:33 pm

Hey Abby,
I thought I'd add in some thoughts as a fellow teenager (although on the much older end of the spectrum, 19) :)

Owning a bearded dragon is an amazing experience; they are adorable, fascinating little creatures. But, they definitely do require a lot of time, energy and money. I have 2 high energy dogs, and they seem like a breeze compared to my bearded dragon.

As a teen working a minimum wage job, you will definitely need budgeting skills if you intend to pay for all of his or her needs. Especially if you intend on getting your own phone plan, driver's license/vehicle, going to post-secondary, etc. For example, I'd say I spend roughly $40 - $60 a month on food for my beardie between feeder insects and vegetables. The T5 10.0 UVB bulb and fixture initially cost $125 here in Canada, although the bulb does last about a year (replacement is around $20), and it is possible to get a cheaper fixture from Wal-Mart depending on how you want to set up the terrarium. On terrarium set up in general I have spent hundreds easily, and his terrarium was ~$350. Not to mention, once you get attached it's suuupper simple to spoil these dragons :lol: Vet bills are not cheap, I spent $265 on my beardie today for a general check up (whereas my dogs are ~$150 each). In all honesty if I wasn't old enough (say 16 or 17) to have a credit card I wouldn't have been able to pay it due to other financial responsibilities. Overall, if you have fairly decent accounting skills or are good at managing and keeping track of your money you're a step in the right direction. But do keep in mind that owning a bearded dragon will make you think twice about buying the shiny thing you saw in the mall lol.

In terms of time consumption, it can be such a pain to get feeders and veggies depending on where you live. Since I drive, this isn't a hassle to my parents since it's up to me to hunt down annoyingly hard to find vegetables or silkworms. At 14, it would be much more difficult to do this. Unless, you're super lucky/live somewhere warmer where your local grocery store has good quality vegetables (collard greens, dandelion leaves, kale, prickly pear, squash, etc.). If this is the case for you, then if your parents have a designated "grocery shopping night," tagging along would be a good idea so you can pick up food for him or her. Or, if your mom accidentally buys too much of a beardie-friendly vegetable (i.e. my mom once bought a ton of cilantro for no apparent reason), you're all set. You'll also need to prepare salads daily, meaning washing and preparing vegetables regularly (I find it's a bit faster if you prepare enough for the week, cut them up and store them in a container in the fridge so if you wake up late and have to go to school, the main part is already done).

Apart from tracking down and making food, cleaning the terrarium along with all decorations and cleaning supplies can take a whole afternoon. If you spot clean the terrarium and decor daily, the time it takes to wash absolutely everything may be a little less. This is very important and shouldn't be neglected, otherwise the bearded dragon's health could be at risk, especially when it comes to water/food bowls or containers, or anything that gets pooped on. Speaking of which, their poop is possibly one of the worst smells ever. If you are still convinced you'd want a bearded dragon, one of the easiest ways to clean up their bathroom messes is with shop towels (they're blue coloured, basically paper towel but much thicker), and you can make a water/vinegar solution or pet friendly plant based cleaner to spot clean (I personally like Pawganics as it cleans everything from natural wood surfaces to glass and the scent can be diluted no problem with water).

Next, beardies do need some form of enrichment to help them flourish. If you get a large terrarium, they will have adequate space to move around, but some beardies do like to explore. Mine is a total snoop and has minimum an hour to roam the house while supervised. Beardies all have different personalities, so you could end up with one who is happy to chill on your bed and watch you do homework, or one who would rather zoom around. With other animals in the house, you have to stay close to your beardie- as in close enough that you could grab your other pet or push them away if they put your beardie at risk. My border collie has a prey drive in the negatives, but I did need to teach my golden shepherd "space" so she would back away when getting too close to my beardie (no malicious intent, she was just jealous I was petting Pancake instead of her :lol:). However with cats, it does seem risky. They can't be trained the same way as a dog, and could jump up next to the terrarium possibly stressing the beardie. Others on here have succeeded in owning both beardies and cats, perhaps ask one of them as I can only speak for the beardie and dogs side of things.

I'm not a partier either so I can't elaborate on what kingofnobbys said :lol: But as a student with a lot of night classes and a boyfriend, sometimes it does suck to go to bed really late and wake up at 7AM. But the amount of happiness my beardie brings me is always worth it in the end :)

In conclusion, I think if you are in a position where you feel able to pay for all the needs of a bearded dragon and are mature enough to deal with the amount of commitment they can require then it is okay to get a bearded dragon in your teens. They do make good study buddies :P But I definitely wouldn't rush into it or let your excitement get the best of you. It's best to weigh both the pros and cons before moving forward, and decide if you have enough access to resources that would provide a bearded dragon with a healthy and happy life.
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Re: How do i convince my mom to let me get a beardie?

Postby Ellentomologist » Mon Apr 15, 2019 9:26 pm

Hiya - Another young female here to toss you my opinion...

I got Guacamole Kangarilla 2 years ago. While I often panic about his health and post here about said panics, he's so far been a perfectly healthy, happy boy. I got him my junior year of college when I was 20. With this perspective, I will say the following:

Your mom may have any assortment of reasons not to want you getting a dragon. Unfortunately, for as long as you live with her, you kinda have to bin it and listen to your legal guardian. There probably is no way to "convince" her to let you have a dragon - but a mutually respectful conversation further investigating exactly why she doesn't want you to have one is a good idea. You might find out she has some misconceptions about the creature or a personal distaste for them, or otherwise that she has misgivings about your responsibility level etc... Finding this out her exact reasons is the first step in moving forward or resigning yourself to the fact that you're just not going to be able to have a reptile until you move out.

Personally, I would suspect one of the following objections:
-She's worried about cost
-She's concerned about mess/smell of Bearded Dragon or associated creatures (feeder insects)
-She's concerned about neglect or having to take care of it for other reasons

Cost you've already covered. You seem to think you can pay for a beardie yourself, so I won't touch on that other then to comment that you should be generous with your budget and make sure to have something set aside for "pet emergencies" - for instance my apartment had a power surge, so I needed to replace the lights for my beardie (roughly $80) as well as all my other animals (another couple hundred dollars).

Mess and smell is also up to you just doing basic maintenance and cleaning up after your pet, but insects are a big issue for a lot of people that you really need to consider if they are an issue for her. Crickets ARE going to escape, and if your mom hates them, this WILL be an issue. Roaches are easier to contain, but most people who don't keep insects hate them 100 times more than crickets. Most other feeders are either super expensive or don't provide full nutrition to your dragon.

Finally the last common concern - her ending up taking care of it. This doesn't necessarily speak ill of her opinion of you, btw... For instance, do you intend to go to college? A dorm is no place for a pet reptile. Regardless of the reason, if her concern is that SHE DOES NOT wan to take care of YOUR pet and that's her hang up, then my advice is to look up worst case scenarios. Finding a rescue that could take your pet in if you absolutely could not take care of it anymore might do a lot to ease her mind... But on that note, realize that you should never EVER get a pet with the intention of abandoning it.

To address somethings I have see on this thread...

Cats are dangerous. Everyone who says this is dead right... But that said many of them probably have cats and a good, responsible owner can avoid catastrophe. It is a big risk for a new reptile keeper, though.

Prices for a good set up are going to vary widely. The tank itself will run about $100-150 is you don't build it yourself, hit a really good sale, or find something suitable - THAT YOU CAN CLEAN - used. Lights and fixtures will run you about $100, with the cost of UVB being a re-occurring issue. Food will be fairly cheap, maybe $50 a month if you're not breeding your own insects and you're a little wasteful with greens. Electric should only be a couple bucks monthly. Vet cost varies widely depending on where you live. Hides and decorations also varies widely, but anywhere between $60-120 is what I would expect, again, buying new. That is a very rough and dirty estimate, but there you go. However note that now that I have everything set up well - I buy greens once a week and breed my own feeder insects - my reoccurring costs for Guac is about $5-7 a month, with about $20-40 every six months for UV light replacement.

I find some of the comments regarding your potential social life kinda... Condescending. Don't want to comment past that, but if you're feeling discouraged because of that, please know that I feel you. I'm new to keeping bearded dragons, but I've been keeping a multitude of other similar pets since I was 8, which is now a full 14 years of experience. I never found my passion for insects, amphibians, or reptiles to be a burden on me or me social life, and statements like that are incredible presumptuous of your personality. That said, it's presumptuous for a reason... People of your -arguably our - age group tend to be rash and not plan ahead very well.

Really think about what you're getting yourself into - a beardie is a 10+ year commitment... If you're 14 now and you plan to have children, for instance, there's a decent chance that your pet reptile will meet your kiddo.

Now, I am a full time student and I have a big bunch of pets that I spend about an hour each day taking care of and about $40 dollars a month, total. I didn't date seriously until I was 20, and I have been to exactly one of what I think most people think of when they think "parties"... I didn't like it. If you're the kind of person who really is good and ready for a dragon, then all you need to navigate is negotiating with your mother if you can, or using the time that you need to wait until you move out because your mom just absolutely won't let you have one building a bearded dragon savings fund.

You mentioned during sports season that you don't get home until late... One thing you could do is strategically get your dragon at the point of the year when you will have the longest amount of time before needing to stay late. Just a thought.

The best comment I saw here IMO was definitely Blackenedsabbath's. Take a measured, realistic look at why you want a dragon and if you're prepared to handed something that, if you take care of it correctly, will probably be with you when you are twice your current age. If you think you really want one after that, work on compromising with your mom... Either she'll let you get one, in which case yay! You get to have a beardie now! Or she won't let you get one... In which case, yay! You get to save up the money and resources to give your future beardie the best possible home. You might even look into getting a fancier morph at that point, for instance I am currently saving to get another bearded dragon of either a Red of wiblits morph. :-)

Good luck!
About me: Recent graduate working at a research laboratory. Keep many invertebrates, reptiles, and amphibians, but only one BD named Guacamole. Love getting and giving book recommendations. HUGE DnD and tabletop RPG nerd. Sorry if I post the same info right after someone else does, I tend to open many tabs and not refresh.
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Re: How do i convince my mom to let me get a beardie?

Postby Aquilist » Tue Apr 16, 2019 4:23 am

Off topic- Ellentomologist, Best bearded dragon name ever!

As a young teen (15) who has next to no social life and a large variety of pets who I had to persuade my parents for, my method is this:

1. Plan your butt off. It seems like you're doing this pretty well. Research a tonne, know everything there is to know about the care of bearded dragons.

2. Prove your responsibility. You mentioned caring for the cats for a month. Try not just a month, but long-term. Perhaps make it your goal to be the best cat owner you can be. Be a dream child.

3. Make a presentation. Sure, lotta effort and a bit nerdy, but what I always do is present my idea to my parents in a professional, but fun manner. I typically begin with a powerpoint, highlighting the care of the said animal to prove I know what I'm getting myself into. This often escalates into a movie, highlighting the pros of beardies. Speaking of Pros..

4. I then make a pros and cons list and present it. Try to think outside the box for this one. Don't just say "Pro: Beardies are great pets," parents typically don't care about this. They want to see a genuine reason to get this animal. For example: "Pro: The owning of a bearded dragon is an educational and rewarding experience because..." Sell your idea, but be honest. Include any cons that are necessary.

5. Be patient. The parent(s) generally says 'no' the first few times. That's ok. Don't pester or nag them, but don't give up. Wait a few days and try again. Always present your ideas in a way that respects your parents' decisions.

Now, I can't guarantee anything, but this method has been very successful for me. It helps if it's around a birthday/special event, but that's not required.

Good Luck!
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Re: How do i convince my mom to let me get a beardie?

Postby Martadragon017 » Thu Apr 18, 2019 9:03 am

I agree with Aquilist, the way that I got my beardie was pretty much that. Another thing that can help is to ask for some supplies or money for your birthday or Christmas or something along that line. This way more of that money can be stored away for emergencies. Also, I recommend making sure that you have a stable living environment. As mentioned, if you plan on going to college or moving out, you will have to keep in mind that your options may be limited since not all rentals allow reptiles and you will have to figure something out for college as well. I speak from experience since I had gotten my Marta when I thought we would stay in one place for a long, long, time and had had no idea that we were moving to the other side of the country. I was very lucky that we had to drive a car over or else I might have been forced to give her up. Even so, with a five day car drive with stops only for the night and a couple times a day in the middle of nowhere so that my dad (who was driving) could rest a bit, boxes everywhere and very little space, it was not a comfortable experience for either of us, her having to stay in her carrier the entire ride. If possible, try to check with your parents that they don't plan on moving anywhere in the near future. Also, if you live in a rental, you will have to check if they allow reptiles, since some only let cats and dogs live there. And while you should be very careful with your cats, I don't think that they should be a deciding factor or anything, I have two cats who are very active, but so far I haven't had anything bad happen, so as long as you aren't leaving the terrarium open for the cats to jump in or your lizard out without supervision, everything should be fine. One last thing, don't be discouraged by the fact that some teens will lose interest after a while, I would say that most of those cases are with impulse buys, when someone walks into a pet store for cat food and walks out with a 'cute little baby lizard' with barely any knowledge at all of it's care. That may also be one of the reasons that your parents refuse to let you get a beardie, and the best way to prove that wrong is to show how committed you are, and, as mentioned, make presentations, bring them up in your conversations, show how you will prepare for a lizard and how much you are willing to give up for you pet. Show them that you really are committed and won't forget about this in a few weeks, or forget about your pet if they get you one. Again, as mentioned, a good thing to do to show this is to promise to take care of the cats, and actually start to do so and continue to care for them to show your responsibility to your parents. You can also try to promise to fix one of your problems, like your grades (if they are bad) if they let you get one. For example, if you've been taking care of the cats for a while and have managed to convince them that you won't abandon your pet, they might agree to consider getting you a beardie if you get your grades up (and keep them that way) or something along those lines. Anyways, I've rambled for long enough now, I hope that everything works out!
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Re: How do i convince my mom to let me get a beardie?

Postby JumpinJellyfish » Fri Apr 19, 2019 12:58 pm

I'm a parent of adult children (old fart), so I'm not really addressing the original post, but would like to express appreciation for the thorough and detailed responses given by the young people here. :0) Good luck in your pet quest.
Never knew I could get so happy about poop, or so comfortable with bugs. :-D
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Re: How do i convince my mom to let me get a beardie?

Postby DorgEndo » Sat Apr 20, 2019 4:49 am

I wanted to reply again because I feel bad I never did answer the main question, how to talk to your Mom about a dragon.

If there are times you normally talk for the day, like dinnertime, bring up facts you have learned about dragons and what you plan to do for the future. Be practical about how you can accomplish this. Show your Mom cute pictures of bearded dragons and gauge what her reaction is. You know your Mom whereas I don't.

What I do know is some people have irrational negative feelings towards any herp pet. You can tell her what the facts are and find out if she has any biased opinions against a bearded dragon pet. I still think it's a generally good move to wait and research, but you shouldn't have to wait a long time if you can accomplish something sooner. I had a Dragon growing up, but my parents supported me with my choice, which makes a huge difference in life being easier and less stressed
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