Pancake: Hooman is doing a terrible job of updating my blog

She claims it's because of this "homework" stuff and that she isn't home as much because of this place called "university" that she has to go to because it cost her a lot of money. Why a hooman would pay money to be away from their beardie makes no sense
So here I am, waiting for the hooman to return.
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Hooman: I feel bad for not posting here as much as I would like, but I have more Pancake stories and pictures to hopefully make up for it.
First on the list lol, Pancake's tank is in our basement (I wish it was upstairs, but we don't have the space up here at the moment and he wasn't exactly planned for as you all know). When he gets super excited and wants to come out, I can hear his little feet scritching on the tile when he runs around or when he claws at the glass if he's really desperate.
WELL. Last week I heard a scratching sound followed by a rustle. Naturally, I assume he's running in and out of his leaves like the weirdo he is. BUT NO. What I found was even more strange.
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...And to top it off, he was wiggly his one little arm out to grab onto something to get down, because of course, he didn't know how to get himself out of this predicament.
Pancake: I was quite happy to see hooman come to my rescue. Even though she took this embarassing picture before helping me.
Hooman: Has anyone else seen their beardie do this?! Because it scared the crap out of me at first. I feel tempted to make a little padded area under the leaves in case he does this while I'm not home and falls :/
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Second story, Pancake thought he found a new way to eat his food.
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Pancake: Why blep to eat, when I can absorb the food through my tummy?! It was genius I tell you!! But the hooman spoiled all my fun as usual and took me out of my salad
But the story of yesterday, shows how stupid hoomans can be! My hooman got home from work, and saw me laying on my tile and not looking very happy. She scooped me up and took me into her room, since I love to jump around on the big squishy thing she sleeps on. But I had a tummy ache because I hadn't pooed yet. So I only wanted to cuddle on my hooman's leg. After stealing all her body heat to help my belly, I ran away from my hooman to do my business.
But at the same time (!!!), one of the four legged butt sniffers (I think hoomans call them "dogs") entered the room, and my hooman thought I was given a frighten. So she picked me up and put me back on her leg. I couldn't hold it anymore!! I pooed. All over my hooman's pants
Thank the lizard lord, my hooman is well trained enough that she didn't get mad and instead only screeched for the big hooman to bring her paper towel to wipe it up and then laughed it off. Also, my tummy ache was gone.
