Hi all, I am new to the forum. I'm here to seek comfort and advice about my beardie. Napoleon is almost 10 years old, and he has lived a great life. The past month his appetite started to decrease, but I wasn't worried since I assumed it was him getting old. I feel like an awful mom for not seeing the problem earlier, but I'm an ICU nurse experiencing a pandemic right now and have been working nonstop. Anyway, last week he drastically dropped weight to the point I can see his bones. We went to the vet, and his full work up results were inconclusive, but the vet believes he has cancer. He has deteriorated so much in a few days. He can barely walk, he almost slithers, and it's so painful to watch. He doesn't have the same spark in his eyes but his personality is still there. He is home on antibiotics for secondary stomatitis and syringe feeds, and I can't get nearly enough of the feeds into him. He's just too tired.
The vet said if there's going to be a difference, it'll be about a week since the antibiotics were started which would be this Friday. I lucked into a bunch of days off and I've spent all day with him. I've had my fair share of pets go in my life, but I've never been the one to make the decision... I don't want my baby to suffer. I've had him since I was 14, but I don't even know how they do euthanasia, and it pains me knowing with the pandemic I won't be able to be with him. I go back to work tomorrow and I'm so scared he won't have me there to love on him.
I also feel so responsible. His temps, habitat, and diet are ideal and my vet confirmed that, but I still feel like I did something wrong. I just hope he knows I'm trying to help him, but I hate having to give him shots and the critical care. He looks miserable when I try and feed him, which makes me think it's time, but then he perks up and gives me the "Nappy look" and I can finally see *him* again. This is so much harder for me since I lost my mom to cancer last year and Nappy got so bad during mother's day weekend.
I know everyone says you'll know when it's time, but I don't know when enough is enough. I just want my Nappy boy to be happy and healthy, and not in pain.
The vet said if there's going to be a difference, it'll be about a week since the antibiotics were started which would be this Friday. I lucked into a bunch of days off and I've spent all day with him. I've had my fair share of pets go in my life, but I've never been the one to make the decision... I don't want my baby to suffer. I've had him since I was 14, but I don't even know how they do euthanasia, and it pains me knowing with the pandemic I won't be able to be with him. I go back to work tomorrow and I'm so scared he won't have me there to love on him.
I also feel so responsible. His temps, habitat, and diet are ideal and my vet confirmed that, but I still feel like I did something wrong. I just hope he knows I'm trying to help him, but I hate having to give him shots and the critical care. He looks miserable when I try and feed him, which makes me think it's time, but then he perks up and gives me the "Nappy look" and I can finally see *him* again. This is so much harder for me since I lost my mom to cancer last year and Nappy got so bad during mother's day weekend.
I know everyone says you'll know when it's time, but I don't know when enough is enough. I just want my Nappy boy to be happy and healthy, and not in pain.