The UPS guy is scary!

<setting on the front porch. The Hooman is watching "Buffy" on his tablet and the Dragon Lord was laying on the railing soaking up some much need warm sun.>
Phira: And then Hooman, this Cricket tried to get away but I was like "oh no you didn't" and I ran across and crunch crunch crunch. He was nummy! And then his other friend saw him and was like "Noooooo" and charged me! Like he could avenge his friends death right!! Crunch. I stepped on him!
Me: That's not what happened you took a step back and it was just setting there. That's how you stepped on it.
Phira: <death glare>
Me: Geez sorry.
Phira: I thought he wa dead but, no! He was like a mutant cricket or something and it picked up my butt and... hey... hey Hooman.
Me: Yes Phira Dragon.
Phira: why is that big brown monster truck stopping... oh God it's stopping! Oh oh God a Hooman! It's laying a Hooman without an egg! Ahhhhhh! Run away Hooman! Wait wait! No! Don't go fight the brown monster truck Hooman, Hooman No! Hooman! Oh oh God it's so brutal. Oh oh God!... Yay! Hooman scared him off and stole his stuff YAY! Hooman... hold me!
Me: *sigh*