Phira's how to guide on how to test your Hoomans reflexes.

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Hello Fellow Dragons. It's is I Lord Saphira Adonis! Thanks for taking the time to read "How to test your Hoomans reflexes." Let's just get right to the crickets of the matter shall we!?
First, always try to put yourself in the most dangerous situations you can come up with. For instance, try jumping off your Hoomans shoulder as they're going down stairs. Don't jump backwards where the stairs are much closer. No. Jump forward, quickly, and with out warning. This will teach them to Multi-task.They will not only have to catch you, but stop from falling themselves. If they do fall just remember they will protect your body over their own.
Next put yourself in horror movie like scenarios. Like jumping in to the kitchen sink after your bath is over and the disposal is running. Don't worry, they will sacrifice their body to protect yours.
Always a crowd pleaser is to run under their feet. And last but not least... climb to very high places and then jump... for no reason. If your Hooman completes these task as mine did today than you have a good reflexable Hooman who, may die of a heart attack, but will protect you. Thank you for reading...
Phira: HOOMAN I HASTA POO!
 

Gormagon

Extreme Poster
Just another day in the life of a good Hooman slave, lol!

PS. I am beginning to think Phira has some issues, lmao!
 

SHBailey

Gray-bearded Member
:lol: :lol: :laughhard:

We don't have any stairs at our house, and the garbage disposal is currently off-line because the pipe leaks until my husband can get around to trying again with the DIY fix because we don't want to shell out for a plumber (the reptiles' needs come first whenever if ever there's any spare $ to spend). And I'm beginning to think it's probably just as well because this particular "hooman" has really lousy reflexes and would probably fail all the tests. :oops:

Maybe Gormagon is right and Saphira should see a bearded dragon psychologist about those "issues" :?
 

SHBailey

Gray-bearded Member
Seriously. :wink: Someone should explain to Saphira that if he were a "hooman", such behavior would likely get him committed to a mental hospital for being "a danger to himself and others". :twisted: :mrgreen:
 

Minimum3

Hatchling Member
Original Poster
Right! So. The stairs was light moving on the wall. The disposal was the swirling water. He didn't actually get close to hurting himself. Still didn't stop me from making funny noises.
 

KozmoRox

Member
My Kozmo and your Saphira must be secretly communicating and giving each other ideas on how to test their hoomans! Hahaha! :lol: Kozmo sits on my shoulder so nicely and acts like the young ladydragon she should be, and within seconds will take flight to the nearest window by any means. I have leapt and tripped over furniture in attempts to keep that little booger from dangerous falls. I have also learned to close all toilet seats and kitchen drains to keep her from committing accidental drowning and crushing. Then, she's gets furious with me puffing out her beard and even running at me with that open mouth!! I now have 2 teenage daughters in my house.... :banghead: H..E..L..P.., please send back-up!
 

Gormagon

Extreme Poster
Minimum3":33bq0d30 said:
Right! So. The stairs was light moving on the wall. The disposal was the swirling water. He didn't actually get close to hurting himself. Still didn't stop me from making funny noises.
Makes for great adventure stories though,lol!!

I still think he needs to seek some help, lmao!
 

SHBailey

Gray-bearded Member
Kozmo is another good example of how good beardies can be at lulling their human slaves into a false sense of security by behaving as if they're going to settle down, and then springing into action when you least expect it. :shock:

Human teenagers are above and beyond me. My husband and I have been married for almost 18 years and we'd have them by now if we'd ever had any human children, so it's probably a good thing we didn't. The reptiles are more than enough. :roll:
 
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