OH MY GOD! HOW DOES SHE DO IT?

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I am re-posting this so that all can have a nice laugh.

OH MY GOD ! HOW DOES SHE DO IT?

Attention All Units!! Attention All Units!! Stand By To Copy BOLO (Be On Look Out):

Suspect: Miss Sydney

Age: 22 months old

Sex: Female

Eyes: Black and Gold

Beard: Blond and Gold

Ears: Round

Weight: Almost 600 grams

Length: Approximately 20-22 inches long.

Width: Apparently, not wide enough!!

Nationality: Australian/American

Last Seen: 0645 hours, 5/21/2009 at home, in South East Arizona.

Description: Bearded Dragon

Wanted in connection with escapes (x 2 in as many days) from 110g Tank.

Approach with caution. Can Hide anywhere. Will hide anywhere. Can be stepped on.

Point Of Contact: emerald

(Red and Blue text simulates flashing patrol lights)



INCIDENT REPORT #1:

At approximately 0710 hours on, 5/20/2009, when I left for work, I observed that BOTH of my Beardies were in the tank. Each one was in their hammocks.


On 5/20/2009, when I returned from work, only Sir Darwin was in his hammock, basking in the tank.

Miss Sydney was NOWHERE to be seen or found; IN OR OUT OF THE TANK!!

Needless to say, I freaked. (Come on, gimme a break. She's my baby!) Being a tried, true and blue professional, I quickly regained my composure and began a search of the immediate area. Miss Sydney, I am glad to say, was found approximately 25 minutes later.

Method of escape is still unknown at this time.



INCIDENT REPORT #2:

On 5/21/2009, at approximately 0645 hours, when I left for work, I observed that BOTH of my beardies were in the tank. Each one was in their hammocks....(hmmm....sound familiar?)


On 5/21/2009, when I returned from work, at approximately 1600 hours. Only Sir Darwin was in his hammock, basking in the tank.

Miss Sydney was NOWHERE to be seen or found; IN OR OUT OF THE TANK!!!!
....(hmmm....sound familiar?)

As I make a living making searches, seizures, and the like.... I just knew I would find her right away. I knew this. Yes, I did. I just knew this!! RIGHT?? RIGHT?? OF COURSE!!

Creating a proper search grid, I immediately set up a perimeter. If I may say so myself, what a great perimeter it was!

Finding NO TRACE of the suspect, the afore-mentioned Miss Sydney....

(my army of 1) I began a sweep.

Much to my dismay, no trace of this newly and notorious escape artist could be found.

An hour had now passed since the initial discovery of the suspect's escape.

I had to consider the possibility that my suspect had broken through my perimeter.

AAAAAHH!! Here comes my back-up team!! HUBBY!! Just in time!!

I immediately delegated the heavy stuff, (lifting the bed, dressers, etc.,) to my back up team.

Again, there was no trace of the notorious Miss Sydney.

Looking at my watch, I nervously realized that 1 hour and 45 minutes had elapsed since the initial escape discovery.

Deciding to retrace our steps, we prepared to search the perimeter once more.

I directed my back up team to continue the search of the perimeter. I decided to bravely, and venturing alone, check the computer room, extra bedroom, and yes, even the bathroom! My searches were to no avail, as the suspect remained at large.

Elapsed time was now 2.5 hours.

I now had to consider my remaining option: Call in the State Police for added assistance.

Perhaps through the use of their fine Aerial Pursuit Unit (Helicopters) and K-9 teams, this notorious escape artist could finally be found.

But wait....I decided to try, just once more.

Using my powerful duty flashlight, (it can find anything!!), I carefully, and bravely, entered the perimeter area directly behind the bedroom dresser, ALONE. I swept the powerful beam back and forth, much like an aerial pursuit unit. (After all, where ya gonna run when the light is strong as the sun?) (small joke, there.)

WAIT!! WHAT IS THAT!??

IS IT A BIRD? IS IT A SNAKE (BETTER NOT BE....)

OR.... IS IT OUR SUSPECT?

Attention All Units!! Attention All Units!! BE ADVISED...........................

SUSPECT HAS BEEN SPOTTED!! SUSPECT HAS BEEN SPOTTED!!


Suspect has been spotted hiding behind the dresser, and beneath a box!

Suspect is unaware of our presence!

All units: Move in! Move in!!

Incident Commander to all units: Situation is Code 4/Suspect in custody!!

Debriefing to be held in master bedroom, at tank-side.

METHOD OF ESCAPE: STILL UNKNOWN AT PRESS RELEASE TIME!!

You can be sure, however, that this suspect, while she will NOT be grilled, WILL BE INTENSELY QUESTIONED, in regards to her alleged activities on the afore mentioned dates.

An attorney has not yet been assigned.

AND HOW WAS YOUR DAY!!??

Officer Emerald


P.S. : It was later determined that Ms. Sydney leapt 23 inches above her, and pulled herself through a 1-1.5 inch wide slot in the top of her viv. That's right folks. Prior, I noticed she had been staring up at the top of her tank for a few days. She thoroughly enjoyed it when I would place her on the top of the viv to look out the bedroom window to the backyard. She studied the slot for days. She finally decided she could jump and reach it. This was no small girl. She was 600 grams. The tank was 23 inches high. The slot, while long, was only an inch or so wide. She jumped, she pan-caked, and pulled herself through the slot. She was not willing to wait until I came home from work to put her on top of the viv, to look out the bedroom window. She would get the most dreamy-eyed-look on her face. She was so content when looking out that window. Unfortunately, between her trajectory and velocity, she propelled herself between the dresser and the wall. Luckily, she was not hurt. How, you may ask, did I determine the method of escape? She tried it a THIRD time. I walked into the room in time to catch her in the act ! I sure miss her! RIP, Ms. Sydney ! I love you, baby !

Emerald
 
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