How to convince

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I need to convince my mom I'm responsible for a beardie. I know I am but I need to show her. Any tips for me? I need this beardie we had a moment at the petstore.
 

CooperDragon

BD.org Sicko
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I would do research. Present all of the proper equipment needed to care for a dragon (tank, lighting, furniture, etc). Come up with a plan for food and the costs involved. If you can show that you know what care is involved, how much it costs, and have a plan for taking care of both it would be helpful.
 

PodunkKhaleesi

Hatchling Member
I’m not sure how old you are, so I’ll preface this by saying that bearded dragons require a lot of time, research into their needs, and have some pretty hefty upfront costs. So the younger a person is, the more hesitant I am to recommend them as a pet. Children and even some teens can get bored with a beardie and may find that the lizard’s complex needs can become a hastle. A lot of beardies offered on Craig’s List or that make their way to reptile rescues are because a child or teen got bored with them and neglect soon followed. So let’s assume you’re the ideal scenario of an older child that has done extensive research and would truly commit your time to caring properly for a beardie. If this is the case, here’s how I convinced my parents to let me get my first bearded dragon when I was in my late teens:
1. Know the parent/pet psychology and use it to your advantage. A parent’s greatest fear when a child begs to bring home a pet is that they’ll be the ones stuck taking care of it. And this is especially daunting when the child wants a more exotic pet like a bearded dragon (which my parents had never even heard of when I asked if I could get one). So right now, your first priority is to show them that they won’t have to lift a finger in relation to this animal because you have become an expert in bearded dragon care. First you want to do so much research you feel like you should be awarded an honorary degree in herpetology. Read as many care sheets and articles as possible. If someone were to give you a pop quiz, you should be able to immediately answer these questions: What is the minimum cage size for a bearded dragon? Why is it important to have quality UVB tube lighting, and which two brands are the only UVB lights worth buying? What should the basking spot temperature be for a baby? For an adult? How do you know which size insects are safe for a baby bearded dragon? What foods can bearded dragons eat every day, and which should be limited to treats only? If you can show your parents that you know everything about this animal and it’s specific care requirements then they won’t have to worry that it’ll be their burden to become reptile experts. Half of convincing my parents to let me own a bearded dragon was to show them that it wouldn’t be an “ordeal.” The caveat: I do believe children younger than teens should have a parent research beardies and supervise their care. There’s still a pretty big margin of error with even the most well-meaning kids. For example, one member that identified as being homeschooled and therefore a teenager or younger, recently posted a picture of their bioactive tank, which contained many, many threats to their baby beardie’s health. Were they older, they might have listened when other forum members pleaded with them to remove the dangerous elements in the tank. When I got my first beardie I was older, had done extensive research, and had a family friend that was a herp vet so I benefited from consistent expert guidance.
2. If you’re a dream child that does their homework without being nagged and helps out around the house, then you can remind them that you feel you’ve more than demonstrated your capability of being responsible. If “responsible” is not one of the top 50 words your parents would use to describe you (and since we’ve never met for all I know you could be the Tom Sawyer of your generation, currently convincing other kids to paint fences for you while you play Candy Crush on your iPhone), then you may have a bigger hurdle to jump. So if their answer is, “We don’t think you’re ready for the responsibility of this pet,” then your next sentence should be, “Then what can I do to show you I can handle the responsibility?” They may be taken aback by your response (“holy crap—he called our bluff!”), but showing them you’re willing to put in the work to earn what you want forces them to acknowledge your maturity/responsibility/commitment to caring for a bearded dragon. If they’re caught off guard, have a suggestion ready to go: Offer to do extra chores around the house or to wake up early to walk the dog each morning.
3. Address their potential fear of reptiles. While my dad was fairly indifferent to the concept of a reptile in the house, my mom’s train of thought went thusly: “Oh, god—this thing is going to escape and one day I’m going to wake up with a giant prehistoric monster staring at me from the other side of my pillow. Do these things bite?!” I had to show my mom that the enclosure would not be prone to jail breaks, then convince her that beardies were not quietly biding their time until a human let down its guard, at which point the lizard would lunge for her jugular. If either of your parents is afraid of lizards, find some adorable beardie videos on YouTube (and strangely, pictures of bearded dragons in costumes helps too) and show them to the apprehensive parent. Once they see that these lizards are actually quite personable it’s easier for them to warm to the concept of having one in their home.
4. Address the cost. There’s no sugarcoating this one: beardies can be expensive. From the enclosure to the lighting setup to the staggering amount of insects a baby dragon can consume, you’ll need a game plan to fund this operation. If you have an allowance/after school job/regular babysitting gigs and you can cover the cost, that’s great. But if not, things get a bit trickier. So whether it’s asking for a beardie and it’s requirements for Christmas or offering to do chores in exchange for it, you’ll want to figure out how to offset the sticker shock.
So let’s call this Operation Beardie: Plan A. If all of these tactics somehow fail then we’ll move on to Plan B...which is a lot more Machiavellian. ? But be aware that because of your age a bearded dragon may not be the ideal pet for you yet. Their needs are much greater than than those of a hamster, as is their lifespan. If your parents do say no, they may ultimately may have some valid reasons for making that judgment call.
 

kingofnobbys

BD.org Sicko
Pogonacave":ypyx0mz2 said:
I need to convince my mom I'm responsible for a beardie. I know I am but I need to show her. Any tips for me? I need this beardie we had a moment at the petstore.

Well , I think you need to convince people here first that you are capable of caring for your pet, and wont get bored with it ,and you and your family have the means (money & resources and correct attitude to be trusted with one of these very sensitive beings).
I have seen too many horror stories on these boards where something goes wrong and the dragon does not get the care and food and medical help it needs because mom or dad caved in and bought a dragon and then refused to pay for it's needs.

How old are you ? If you're under 12 yrs old - I'd say this is likely to be hard sell and you'd never convince me (if I were your dad), and under 16 yrs old it becomes a maybe. Sorry but pester power gets you nowhere with me, getting a dragon as pet because it's unusual and cool and even worse on a whim or because some kid pestered their parents more often than not results badly.

What other pets are in the household ?

Are you or your family prepared to pay for necessary medicines and medical help and to provide proper food and lighting for the dragon ?
 

Reptilelady

Sub-Adult Member
I agree with everyone's statements above. Need to ask yourself some questions. Have things that are written down: total costs including food, living and vet prices. Are there any other pets living in the household? I have seen many horror stories that people let their dragons get in contact with dogs and cats, it does not end well for the whole family. It is extremely important to go over this and really think things through before obtaining a bearded dragon. They make great loving pets and just like any other pet, they deserve the health and care.
 

Pogonacave

Member
Original Poster
I am 12. Also I have been doing reaserch for 2 years now. I take quizzes all the time. I have been doing extra chores and working hard on my homework. I do have a cat but she's closely monitored around small animals and goes in my living room while I'm at school and at night. I will try estimating the cost and doing planning. Should I save up some money to split a bearded dragon payment with my mom before she decides if I can have one?
 

Martadragon017

Hatchling Member
I suggest getting the setup+dragon for your birthday or some other big holiday. Also, if you haven't already, find a vet and a place or person to care for your dragon if you're away and are unable to care for him/her.
 

kingofnobbys

BD.org Sicko
Pogonacave":2qd2wjdk said:
I am 12. Also I have been doing reaserch for 2 years now. I take quizzes all the time. I have been doing extra chores and working hard on my homework. I do have a cat but she's closely monitored around small animals and goes in my living room while I'm at school and at night. I will try estimating the cost and doing planning. Should I save up some money to split a bearded dragon payment with my mom before she decides if I can have one?

Sorry , but IMO , you are too young to take on the demands of caring FULL TIME for even ONE bearded dragon and the costs involved.

Which of your parents is willing to care for it ?
.... and are they willing to cover all it's costs including the expenses of a providing live insects every day, proper lighting, a suitable sized enclosure, and VET BILLS, if not, forget about having a bearded dragon UNTIL you are able to fund all these yourself.
 

Martadragon017

Hatchling Member
Remember that having a bearded dragon is a really big responsibility, and with school and homework, you'll still have to find time to care for your lizard which may take up a lot of your free time. And also, beardies live many years, so what will happen with your dragon when you go to college? Aside from that, I don't think that just the fact that you're twelve should stop you from getting a dragon, especially if you've been researching beardies for two years. I think that as long as you and your parents agree that you are responsible enough to care for a bearded dragon, you shouldn't let your age stop you. As for feeding costs and vet bills, you can make some kind of agreement with your parents like doing extra chores every day for the essentials for your lizard or something else that would really benefit your parents. All in all, beardies are great pets and they require a lot of attention and responsibility, but it is possible to have a beardie live a happy life in good conditions with a 12 year old.
 

EllenD

Gray-bearded Member
Well, I'm glad you came to this forum to ask for help, hopefully you've been doing some reading on here and you understand what's involved in first getting a set-up for a Bearded Dragon, and also what you'll need to spend monthly on one, because they need a ton of live feeder insects every single day during their first year of life, and you cannot just run to the pet store to buy them their live insects once a week during their first year of life, you're parents/you would go bankrupt.

You absolutely must have a way to order live feeder insects in bulk on the internet on a monthly basis, at least during their first year of life. If you're feeding a baby/juvenile Bearded Dragon properly, up to about a year and a half old, he is going to be eating somewhere between 40-60 live feeder insects every single day. So you cannot spend that kind of money at Petco or PetSmart, or any other pet store. You have to order them in bulk online, which is very affordable, but remember, you have to care for the feeder insects too. I feed my Beardie Phoenix Worms/BSFL, and from 1 month old when I got her to now (she just turned a year old), on average she has eaten 40-50 size large BSFL every single day. So figure you'll need a credit card or a debit card and have to spend around $30-$40 a month on his live insects, his fresh greens/veggies, and both his calcium powder and his multivitamin powder. So if this isn't possible for you, then it's not going to work. I though I would mention this to you right off the bat, because most first-time Beardie owners don't realize how many live insects they eat every day during their first year of life. Most people order their live insects monthly by the 1,000, whether they are feeding crickets, BSFL, or dubia roaches.

If you tell your mom that you'll need to be able to spend between $30-$40 a month on his live insects, which must be ordered in bulk online every month (you'd be spending between $100-$200 a month is you were buying this many crickets at a pet store instead of online), his fresh greens/veggies, and his supplement powders, and she's okay with that every month from now on (they can live up to 15+ years), then you need to figure out what the up front costs of his set-up are going to be. You cannot skimp on his set-up, because bearded dragons are Desert reptiles and they require extremely strong, appropriate UVB tube lights that must also be replaced either every 6 months or every year, depending on which you buy. YOU CANNOT GET AWAY WITH BUYING CHEAP, COMPACT/COIL UVB BULBS FOR A BEARDIE! He'll just end up dying. So calculate the amount of money you're going to need before even paying for the dragon itself. The take that to your mom....

1.) ENCLOSURE/TANK: The minimum size tank for a bearded dragon is a 40 Gallon Breeder Tank, and you also have to buy the lid separately (DO NOT EVER BUY A "STARTER KIT", AS THEY ALL CONTAIN CRAPPY LIGHTS, THERMOMETERS, ETC. AND YOU'LL ONLY NEED TO REPLACE EVERYTHING IN THE KIT EXCEPT FOR THE TANK AND THE LID!. At a year old he'll need an enclosure that is at least 4'x2'x2', because an adult bearded dragon that is properly cared for often reaches lengths of 24" long or longer!!! So figure to start out you'll need to buy a 40-Gallon Breeder Tank and a mesh lid for it, at a minimum, I'm estimating $100 for the 40-Gallon Breeder Tank and then another $20-30 for the mesh lid. So let's say $150 for both if you buy them new.....$150.

2.) LIGHTS: This is not negotiable at all. Lets just say you order your UVB tube and fixture on Amazon.com and you don't even attempt to buy them in a pet store, because you'll save 50% or more on the price this way. Dragons must have a long UVB tube and fixture, that is a minimum of 18" long, and you should get a T5-strength and not the much weaker T8-strength, not only is it best for the dragon, but the much stronger T5-strength UVB tube only needs replaced once a year, where the much weaker T8-strength UVB tubes must be replaced every 6 months. So assuming you are able to order this on Amazon.com, a 22" Reptisun 10.0 T5HO UVB tube costs $25 and a matching 24" tube fixture that is rated for a T5 tube is another $28. So the UVB tube and fixture alone cost $53, and that's only if you order them on Amazon.com, if you buy them in a store then double that cost. Then you need a Deep-Dome Lamp ($30) and a 100 watt bright white Basking bulb ($10), so around $40 for the bright white Basking Bulb and Deep Dome Fixture, again this is ordering it on Amazon.com.
So both a T5 UVB tube and fixture and a bright white Basking Bulb and Deep Dome Fixture.......$93

3.) Digital Probe Thermometer and Digital Hygrometer....$20

4.) Food Bowl....$5

5.) Basking Platform...$20

6.) Other Tank Decor...$30 minimum, this is up to you really but it's expensive

7.) Calcium Powder and Multivitamin Powder...$12

8.) Plastic Tub for Live Insects....$15

I'm sure I'm missing stuff, and I went on the cheap side of "Tank Decor", that's subjective. Remember, this is only assuming you order both lights and both fixture from Amazon.com.

TOTAL START-UP ESTIMATE (BARE NECESSITIES): BETWEEN $300-$350 not including any Live Insects

ADD 1,000 Small Crickets or Large BSFL (ordered online from www.dubiaroaches.com): $30 shipped

TOTAL START-UP COST INCLUDING 1,000 LIVE FEEDER INSECTS FOR THE FIRST MONTH: ~$350

So that's around $350 start-up costs, including 1,000 live feeder insects for his first month, assuming that you are able to order everything on Amazon.com. THIS IS WITHOUT BUYING THE BEARDED DRAGON!!!!!

So a very good estimate for a start-up cost including the Bearded Dragon and 1,000 Live Feeder Insects, assuming you can order your equipment on Amazon.com and your live insects from www.dubiaroaches.com, and you're paying somewhere around $50 or so for the actual Bearded Dragons, is around $400. That's a really good estimate to tell your mom what you'll need up front, just to get the Beardie and everything he needs (you cannot skimp on the lights or the Digital Thermometer, you'll spend a fortune more in the future in Reptile Specialist Vet bills if you try to buy cheap lights and stick-on thermometers).

So you need about $400 up-front and be able to use either a credit card or a debit card on Amazon.com for the equipment, because if you try to purchase this stuff in a pet store (excluding the 40-Gallon Breeder Tank and the Mesh Lid for it, that's I calculated in-store pricing) you'll spend at least double the amount of everything. Then you need to tell her that his live feeder insect bulk order every month will be around $30 and then $10 for his fresh greens/veggies, so about $40 a month for his food forever. ***Remind your mom that once a year his T5 UVB tube will need replaced, and periodically you'll need to buy Calcium and Multivitamin powders.

There ya go. If you can swing his monthly food bill and your mom can front you $400 and the ability to order online from Amazon.com, and you're willing to spend the time every single day taking care of him, spending time with him, cleaning out his tank every single day, baths once a week at least, 2 daily feeding sessions lasting 10-15 minutes a piece every single day, etc. then you're set.
 
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